Greeting people, especially strangers, is problematic for many puppies and dogs. It is difficult for dogs who are excited to contain themselves and keep four feet on the floor. Dogs who are shy or socially awkward can be wary and uncertain and fearful when meeting new people.
“Go Say Hi!” gives greeting people a structure that helps both excited and shy dogs handle greetings. Essentially, the structure is:
The first step in training this process is to greet when the person is seated and neutral, not engaging with the dog or handler. Next, the person talks to the handler, then gives eye contact to the dog, then talks to the dog, etc. I’ve listed the steps below to gradually make it more challenging for your dog.
The process
Incremental steps to teach “Go Say Hi!”
Teaching “not greeting”
Along with teaching your dog to greet people politely, happily, and safely, you want to teach your dog to “not greet”. This is also an important skill we often neglect.
Dogs need to learn not to greet most of the people they see during their lifetime. Who to greet is not a decision your dog should make. It may not be appropriate or safe to meet certain people. Dogs need to learn that they only greet when you give them permission to do so and otherwise they should ignore people
To help your dog learn this, you can use a cue such as “Not now” or “Not for you” when your dog sees a person and you don’t want them to meet that person. You can:
What about real life?
Real life doesn’t’ always replicated what we do in training. For example, often people approach you – sometimes running or rushing up – to greet your dog, even with COVID! What can you do?
First, try to stop them. Reach your hand out, palm flat, in the universal signal for “stop”. It usually works. You can add a verbal “Stop!” if you need to.
Then you can explain you are in training and go through the process with enough time and space to do it correctly. Or you can say that you don’t want your dog to meet them.
If you can’t stop them, and they rush in anyway, switch into management mode and throw treats on the ground and away from the person to try and keep your dog occupied and distracted until you can move away.
“Go Say Hi!” gives greeting people a structure that helps both excited and shy dogs handle greetings. Essentially, the structure is:
- Wait for calm and connection
- Cue (Go say hi)
- Approach
- Interact briefly
- Move away
The first step in training this process is to greet when the person is seated and neutral, not engaging with the dog or handler. Next, the person talks to the handler, then gives eye contact to the dog, then talks to the dog, etc. I’ve listed the steps below to gradually make it more challenging for your dog.
The process
- Connect with your dog before you greet. Stop about 6 to 10 feet away from the person you are going to greet and make sure that you have your dog’s attention, or at least that she is calm, before you greet.
If you have an excited dog, don’t let her pull you towards someone. That sets the stage for the dog to be overexcited right from the beginning. Wait for a moment of calm. Ideally, you want your dog to offer to look at you but that might be too hard for your dog right now so you might just accept a calm sit or stand with no pulling.
If your dog is shy, this moment of connection is important. It signals to your dog that you are waiting for her to be ready to greet. - Give your dog the cue to “Go say hi”. Depending on your dog, you might ask this as a question, “Go say hi?” After you have stopped and made sure your dog is calm, give the cue and make a sweeping arm movement towards the person as you invite your dog to go with you to greet the person.
If you asked the question and your dog says “no”, then you honour the answer and just move away. You don’t greet.
If your dog says “yes”, you move towards the person together on a loose leash.
- Keep the greeting short. Short greetings help your excited dog not get over-excited and your shy dog not get overwhelmed. It soon becomes a habit and your dog may start to anticipate leaving after a few seconds of greeting.
You can get into a pattern of counting in your head to make sure you keep the greeting short, for example, one banana, two bananas, three bananas, four. When you reach four, you are going to move your dog away, the fourth step. - Let’s go! The fourth and final step in the process is to help your dog move away after a short greeting. Excited puppies would stay there forever, probably jumping all over the person. By helping your dog move away, you are preventing the behaviour you don’t want.
Helping your dog move away is critical for shy or socially awkward dogs because they often don’t know how to move away or get out of the situation. They may want to greet the person but then they may feel overwhelmed or trapped.
To move your dog away, reach down, stick a piece of food right at your dog’s nose, say “Let’s go!” cheerfully and bring your dog away from the person and give them the treat. Celebrate a successful greeting!
Incremental steps to teach “Go Say Hi!”
- Person seated with no eye contact or talking – ignores the dog until the greeting
- Person seated - ignores the dog but talks to the handler
- Person seated - eye contact with dog
- Person seated - eye contact and quietly talks to dog
- Person seated - eye contact and excitedly talks to dog
- Person standing – go through all the same stages with the person standing
- After you go through these steps, you can practice with multiple people. Start with two people seated on a chair, go through the steps, and then two people standing, etc.
- The next step after that would be groups of people. Have three to four or more people seated in a circle, then standing and take your pup up to each one to greet briefly.
Teaching “not greeting”
Along with teaching your dog to greet people politely, happily, and safely, you want to teach your dog to “not greet”. This is also an important skill we often neglect.
Dogs need to learn not to greet most of the people they see during their lifetime. Who to greet is not a decision your dog should make. It may not be appropriate or safe to meet certain people. Dogs need to learn that they only greet when you give them permission to do so and otherwise they should ignore people
To help your dog learn this, you can use a cue such as “Not now” or “Not for you” when your dog sees a person and you don’t want them to meet that person. You can:
- Say the cue.
- Touch your dog lightly on the shoulder to make a connection and get her attention.
- Move away and then feed your dog. If necessary, use a treat to lure her away.
What about real life?
Real life doesn’t’ always replicated what we do in training. For example, often people approach you – sometimes running or rushing up – to greet your dog, even with COVID! What can you do?
First, try to stop them. Reach your hand out, palm flat, in the universal signal for “stop”. It usually works. You can add a verbal “Stop!” if you need to.
Then you can explain you are in training and go through the process with enough time and space to do it correctly. Or you can say that you don’t want your dog to meet them.
If you can’t stop them, and they rush in anyway, switch into management mode and throw treats on the ground and away from the person to try and keep your dog occupied and distracted until you can move away.